MOVIE REVIEW: Cosmopolis (2012)

Director: David Cronenberg

Writer: David Cronenberg (screenplay), Don DeLillo (novel)

Starring : Robert Pattinson (Eric Packer)

This is my first Cronenberg film so I had no inkling of the kind of movie i'm about to watch. The only expectation I had is a performance from Robert Pattinson that will finally shed his Edward Cullen image.

Instead, what I got is basically the same from his previous movie characters. Brooding, dark, affected, annoying. 

First scene elicited a "WTF, is this some  kind of a joke?!" from me, and while some movies completely turn that around and end up being my favorite movies, unfortunately this one kept going on a downward spiral.


The characters talk non-stop about philosophical bullshit that even if what they are saying are actually wise the audience will have a hard time staying focused or interested. Why? I think it's because the script is so unnatural & stilted, and the way it is delivered - it has no soul. The actors are like robots continually talking. jabber jabber jabber! The only character that seemed life-like is Paul Giamatti's Benno Levin. In fact, that's the only scene where in I was mildly interested in. But that's probably intentional. How utterly unrelatable & unlikeable the 1% is. They're lost in their rich world bubble, shut off from the world, oblivious or indifferent to what's happening around them, focused on their own selfish existence. 

"Dead. Died. Earlier Today."  - yes that's part of the dialogue somewhere in the middle of the film. 

Cinematography. what cinematography?? 90% is shot inside a glowing limo, which gives you an 80s B-movie sci-fi vibe. And the whole movie feels green-screened most of the time. Whether that's intentional or not, it didnt help me warm up to this crap.

Musical scoring is virtually non-existent. The lack of ambient sounds together with the "green screen" effect and flat delivery of dialogues makes my eyes water. Oh, no - that's just me and my nasal congestion. 

Cast is okay. But whoever you cast in here, it will be the same. 

At times, I get confused if this is a serious drama/sci-fi or some weird dark comedy, bec when i hear "My prostate is asymmetrical" curiously placed in random dialogues catches you off-guard and makes you wanna laugh but aren't too sure if it's a good idea.

Im not against movies that are "all talk". I love all kinds of movies (maybe except war films -_-). But this one is one hour forty eight minutes of nonstop philosophical ramblings about topics (half of it I don't care about) coming from characters I don't care about, bec the director didnt give you the chance to like the characters. 

THE VERDICT:

I haven't read the book and i'm sure it has full of abstract ideas which i would enjoy musing over. But to see it converted into a film where everything is thrown and nonchalantly uttered by soulless drones that these characters are is so hard to watch. People need to digest the dialogues (the slim chance that they'll actually be interested enough to get what the characters are saying), and trying to keep up with one abstract thought after another, then gets yanked out of that effort by some weird/unpretty sex scenes or other weird randomness, it takes a toll on the viewers.

MY RATING:  

1.5/5 - It's a two-hour waste of time, and seeing Robert Pattinson in shades and emotionless face, and awkward sex scenes is as barf-inducing as when I saw his skinny naked fairy vampire self in New Moon. -_-  although it's kind of funny, that scene when he's having his prostate exam while talking to a woman about sexual tension (I think that's the most intense acting I've seen from him in this movie).

What are your thoughts about Cosmopolis?

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