MOVIE REVIEW: The Host (2013)

Director:  Andrew Niccol (director of S1m0ne, and Gattaca)

Writers:  Andrew Niccol (screenplay), Stephenie Meyer (novel)

Cast: Saoirse Ronan (Wanda/Melanie), Diane Kruger (The Seeker), Max Irons (Jared), Jake Abel (Ian), William Hurt (Uncle Jeb)

Plot Summary: "When an unseen enemy threatens mankind by taking over their bodies and erasing their memories, Melanie will risk everything to protect the people she cares most about, proving that love can conquer all in a dangerous new world." - IMDb

Taglines:  

"Choose to believe. Choose to fight. Choose to love. Choose to listen."

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After reading this review I know that you may choose to believe. You may even choose to fight. But I highly suggest that you choose to listen to me. And listen to me good. Stay away from this film. It's a ginormous waste of time. You could be watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. re-runs or cleaning your attic - it would be much more fulfilling.

WHAT I WAS EXPECTING: 

I was expecting a solid movie adaptation.

The novel, despite its dragging first several chapters, is a pretty good read. I connected to the characters and I enjoyed the second half of the book. So given the success of Twilight (books and movies) however undeserving, I expected the producers to make this movie worth seeing.

WHILE WATCHING:

The opening scene promised an exciting, stylish sci-fi plot. I was very hopeful. Then the next scenes unfold. Then Wanda & Melanie share one body. Melanie started to speak inside Wanda's head - and I actually laughed! Not because it's humorous, but the way it was executed, hearing that echo-like schizo voice, lame! Maybe it's the actress' fault for having a terribly unemotional one-toned voice, or  maybe it really just won't work on the screen for a character to have a voice constantly blabbering inside her head. It's like watching a schizophrenic girl bickering with her other personality about everything. 22 minutes later I find myself wishing that the movie will end. 

It's not that i suddenly decided that i won't dare like the movie. Believe me, every boring scene after scene, I wanted to at least enjoy it. There were a few laughs here and there but mostly it's because of bad dialogues and awkward acting. But I kept hanging on.

Script is poorly written.


If there's character development, it's almost non-existent. Editing is sloppy. The whole story is all over the place. There's too much kissing which I didn't care for BECAUSE THERE'S NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Is this romance? Or sci-fi? The director probably wanted to focus on both, but then got distracted, and along the way he just forgot what he wanted to do, and the result is this big mess of a movie. If it's romance, it didn't work. If it's a cool, dystopian sci-fi flick, no it doesn't work either. The whole 2 hour experience involved seeing the leads kiss, and various shots of the barren mountain/desert, to the boring world of The seeker, and back to the volcano lair of the boring humans. Oh and another shot of the desert. A major part of the movie is just all brown background! 

The cast is okay. No remarkable performances. I was surprised to see Diane Kruger and I think it's a mistake for her to accept this project. It did nothing for her career and her presence did nothing to the movie as well. I didn't like Saoirse Ronan, I'm not saying she's a bad actress, but I think she's a miscast. And i truly didn't like her Melanie-inside-Wanda's-head bit.

Probably the only thing that got my attention are the chrome cars and motorcycles of The Souls. Oh and Wanda's line to Jared (she's trying to wake Melanie): "NO, kiss me like you wanna get slapped!"   Funny! 

WHAT I FELT AFTER WATCHING:

I felt cheated. It was 2 hours 10 minutes of my life and it was wasted for this junk. I rarely regret spending my time watching movies, even the crappy ones, but after the credits rolled i looked at my brother (who was laughing probably from relief that the movie is finished), and i was like "WTF was that??????? Worst movie ever! (i felt that for several minutes, but i'm sure there are worse films. But i did mean it during those several minutes, and i don't usually say that.".... "Andrew Niccol damn you for insulting your viewers,  by making this subpar film, and writing a lazy ass screenplay that obviously just heavily relies on its existing book fanbase to fill in the blanks and forgive your lack of character/plot depth and development." 

THE VERDICT:

Two hours and ten minutes is too long for a movie with a sloppy script, lazy editing, boring scenes and dialogues, so-so cast, uninspired acting, forgettable cinematography, unfocused plot, minimal action scenes, and whatever musical score. It's like watching a flat line in a heart monitor, hoping for that spike or beep, but unfortunately it didn't happen. The whole movie is just one long painfully boring 2-hour flat line.

MY RATING:

0.5/5 - I wouldn't recommend this to anyone. Not even to those who have read the book. 

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