BOOK REVIEW: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Author:  Elizabeth Gilbert
Country: U.S.
Year:  2006
# of pages:  334
Genre:  Non-fiction, memoir

Amidst the mind-numbing chatter which made this reading experience a bit shaky for me, I was pleasantly surprised how insightful and amusing Eat, Pray, Love  actually is. Relatable in a way, because I agree with some of her realizations. Of course I had to patiently sift through all the pasta talk (my mouth watered with all that pizza talk though!), boy problems, "me, me, me" issues, "I, I, I" crap, and all that first-world soul-searching dilemma that Liz felt like sharing to her readers, before I get to the meatier parts of her memoir. I mean one moment I'm silently cursing Ms. Gilbert for her neverending self-absorbed ramblings, like seriously - yakkity yak yak yak! - but then I read this and I can't help but forgive her. "To be honest, I've been talking too much my whole life, but I've really been talking too much during my stay at the Ashram. I have another two months here, and I don't want to waste the greatest spiritual opportunity of my life by being all social and chatty the whole time." I massage my throbbing temple and convince myself to give her another chance. Then there she goes again. The struggle is real. But maybe it's just me.

[MOVIEHOUSE MADNESS]: It's CGI weekend with Maleficent and the Mutant peeps!

"MOVIEHOUSE MADNESS" is when I review movies currently shown in theaters. Also, I rarely go to movie houses, but when I do, there are always face-palming incidences that make me regret going. So read on before you waste your ticket money while refreshing your memory of the ABCs of movie house etiquette!

NOW SHOWING: 

Here are my spoiler-free reviews of Maleficent & X-Men: Days of Future Past and why you should (or shouldn't?) watch them. Oh and for one second I thought I saw Michael Jackson transform into a human ball of fire, but no, it's just Sunspot. O_O 

(Back 2 Back) OLDBOY: Park Chan-wook VS. Spike Lee

Back 2 Back is my comparison review of an original film and its remake/s. 

In this post, I will be reviewing Park Chan-wook's Oldboy (2003), and Spike Lee's 2013 version.

 Loosely based on the Japanese manga, Old Boy, written by Nobuaki Minegishi & Garon Tsuchiya

      (2003) Directed by:  Park Chan-wook                                     (2013)  Directed by:  Spike Lee
       Starring: Choi Min-Sik, Yoo Ji-tae, Kang Hye-jung                         Starring: Josh Brolin, Sharlto Copley, Elizabeth Olsen
       Running Time:  120 mins                                                           Running Time:  104 mins                                                                      Budget:  $3 million                                                                      Budget:  $30 million
       Box Office:  almost $15 million                                                Box Office:  almost $5 million

Let me just say this first: NO I don't care that a remake of Oldboy has been done. I have stopped hating on remakes for awhile now. To those who keep on saying that it's a disgrace to the original blah blah (and I'm speaking generally here), that the original should never ever ever have been re-made etc. etc., all I can say is this: remakes, however unnecessary, are inevitable & to be expected. There will always be other attempts to re-create or surpass what we deem as an already great work of art. Why? Because humans are perfectionists.. or we just love to rip off stuff (and by we, I mean Hollywood). And while the remakes are usually sub-par & disappointing, to me, that's part of the fun. It only makes the original shine brighter, and those who haven't even heard of it in the first place might be curious enough to want to watch it - and isn't that a good thing? Lastly, a bad remake would never be a disgrace to the original because they are two separate films, made by different directors, with different casts - the only one disgraced or put in a bad light is the one who made the remake. So guys, chill!

Now let's talk about the movies.

I'll go straight to the point. There's no contest here, the 2003 version is a masterpiece, and obviously the superior film between the two. I'm pretty sure anyone who have seen both movies will agree and won't need any convincing. 

But just humor me, here are the reasons why the South Korean film is great, while the Hollywood remake is just average at best.

10,000 Hours of Political Motives

Ever since Mr. Palengke (Mar Roxas) messed up big time, PNoy decided to change his pet - choosing Sen. Ping Lacson instead, building him up to be the next 2016 presidentiable (that is, according to Sen. Miriam. lol.). And now we have this movie with a main protagonist played by Robin Padilla which is supposedly Lacson-inspired and is depicted as a loyal, country-loving hero. Genius. 

10,000 Hours is by far one of the best campaign ads I've seen. 

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (Peter Jackson, what have you done?)

Going beyond two movies for a 300-page book... lies the greatest danger of all.

This may be actually the first time that I'll complain of an adaptation (of a book that I love) being unnecessarily prolonged. Seriously, a trilogy? Of one little book? While the first installment was enjoyable though in a juvenile way, it becomes apparent in Desolation of Smaug the fillers that Peter Jackson has to add just to make the main plot last all the way to the third installment. And that irks me. It really does. It would have been kick-ass if it was a two-part adaptation, but a trilogy it never should have been. 

The dwarves, along with Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey, continue their quest to reclaim Erebor, their homeland, from Smaug. Bilbo Baggins is in possession of a mysterious and magical ring.

Directed by:  Peter Jackson
Screenplay by:  Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson, Guillermo Del Toro
Music by:  Howard Shore (LOTR, The Aviator, High Fidelity)
Cinematography by:  Andrew Lesnie (LOTR, I Am Legend)
Editing by:  Jabez Olssen (The Lovely Bones)
Running Time:  161 mins
Budget:  $225 million
Box Office: over $600 million

QUICKIES: Some 2013 movies

A group of retired crazy ass killers. Giant monsters and robots. And two movies with basically the same plot, same illogical twists & turns, and a "Jack Bauer/John McClane"-cloned protagonist to save the day.

Either I'm too lazy at the moment, or the movie does not deserve a full review. Here are my straight-to-the-point reviews, QUICKIES if you will, of RED 2, PACIFIC RIM, OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN, and WHITE HOUSE DOWN.

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BOOK REVIEW: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Harriet Vanger, a scion of one of Sweden's wealthiest families disappeared over forty years ago. All these years later, her aged uncle continues to seek the truth. He hires Mikael Blomkvist, a crusading journalist recently trapped by a libel conviction, to investigate. He is aided by the pierced and tattooed punk prodigy Lisbeth Salander. Together they tap into a vein of iniquity and corruption.

Author: Stieg Larsson

Country:  Sweden (2005)

Published in English: 2008, translated by Reg Keeland

Genre: Crime, Mystery, Thriller

Series:  #1 of the Millenium Series

Pages:  590

"It was uneven stylistically, and in places the writing was actually rather poor - there had been no time for any fine polishing - but the book was animated by a fury that no reader could help but notice." -(Berger, describing Blomkvist's book)

Maybe it's the translator's fault, I don't know, but that quote above is how I will describe Larsson's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Now, now, before you flare up and start to defend this book like how I would defend my secret stash of Twix candy bars - Battle Royale style - I'm not saying this book is not good. It is. But it's overrated. In my opinion, it really is. While reading, once or twice I said to myself, "Surely, the film versions are better than this. Hopefully." (I haven't watched its film adaptations yet)

The Heat (2013)

An uptight FBI Special Agent is paired with a foul-mouthed Boston cop to take down a ruthless drug lord.

Directed by:  Paul Feig (Bridesmaids)

Written by:  Katie Dippold

Starring:  Sandra Bullock (Ashburn), Melissa McCarthy (Mullins)

Running Time:  117 mins

"I'll shut the door on you. You lay down here and put your head in the door. And I'll slam it about 157,000 times."

Foul-mouthed, deglamorized, angry at the world - is Melissa McCarthy getting typecasted? I hope not because as much as I enjoy her as a comedy actress, seeing her in the same abrasive role for several movies straight makes her less appealing for me. Having said that, her role here is a big improvement over Identity Thief, because her delivery in this movie is more spot on in an over-the-top crazy way. Sandra Bullock, still better in Miss Congeniality, has her funny moments as well. Marlon Wayans is surprisingly watered-down and ain't that a breath of fresh air? haha. 

Warm Bodies (2013)

Taglines: 

"Cold body. Warm heart."
"Dead sexy."

Directed and Written by:  Jonathan Levine

Starring: Nicholas Hoult (R), Teresa Palmer (Julie), Rob Corddry (M), Dave Franco (Perry), Analeigh Tipton (Nora), John Malkovich (Grigio)

Plot Synopsis:

After R (a highly unusual zombie) saves Julie from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion a sequence of events that might transform the entire lifeless world. - IMDb

*   *   *   *

Warm Bodies is a nice twist on a typical zombie flick. Seeing SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT stamped on this movie made me half-expect (and dread) a cheesy supernatural love story, then the camera zooms in on R's face and unnatural pale make up and I was like "Uh-oh, Edward Cullen flashback". 

Then I see the leading lady and omg, the similarity to a blonde Kristen Stewart is unnerving. 

MOVIE REVIEW: Beautiful Creatures (2013)

Director: Richard LaGravenese

Starring: Alden Ehrenreich (Ethan Wate), Alice Englert (Lena Duchannes), Jeremy Irons (Macon Ravenwood), Emma Thompson (Mrs. Lincoln), Viola Davis (Amma), Emmy Rossum (Ridley)

Tagline: "Dark secrets will come to light"

Plot: "Ethan longs to escape his small Southern town. He meets a mysterious new girl, Lena. Together, they uncover dark secrets about their respective families, their history and their town."

- - - - - - - - - 

WHAT I WAS EXPECTING:

Another typical fantasy romance. If it's not vampires and werewolves, we have witches.

WHILE WATCHING:

Plot is typical, but marginally better than most movies of the same YA genre roots. 

Cinematography is nice enough, first scene is irritatingly too dark, but the rest is fun to watch. A little Tim Burton-esque in my opinion. It worked. Some effects are too campy though.

I totally love the Ravenwood house interior. I can't express how much i love it. 

Great cast. I was totally surprised to see Jeremy Irons, Viola Davis, and Emma Thompson in this movie, and it was such a breath of fresh air to see these great actors in a teen fantasy film. The leads are not that bad - Alden exudes this James Dean aura mixed with a little Rob Lowe (or someone I still couldn't put a name on) and Lena was right about him -- drooling charm. Alice as Lena is okay too but at times she can be bland. I think Ridley (Emmy Rossum) stood out as the good-girl-gone-bitchbad. I loved her character.

Music is good.

Script/dialogue, while sometimes it is cheesy and overly pretentious, still it's smart and way better than most. Witty and funny. 

LOL at "INTERCEPTION - LEO DECAPRIO" and "FINALE DESTINATION 6"

THE VERDICT:

Solid entertainment. Nothing spectacular to see (except the Ravenwood house, Irons & Thompson), but it's totally better than I expected. Worth watching if you're into these kinds of films.

MY RATINGS: 3/5 - the visuals, script, & cast made this movie a fun watch.

I like Macon and Ridley. Who's your favorite character in the movie?

I appreciate and welcome opinions/comments. Please LIKE & Rate, Share or Follow my blog, it may not change the world but it will change mine LOL :)

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MOVIE REVIEW: The Hunger Games (2012)

Director: Gary Ross (also known for directing Seabiscuit, Pleasantville)

Screenplay: Gary Ross, Suzanne Collins, Billy Ray

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence (Katniss Everdeen), Josh Hutcherson (Peeta Mellark)

Taglines:

"The Games Will Change Everyone."

"The World Will Be Watching"

"May the Odds be Ever in your Favor"

---------------

WHAT I LIKE:

The first scene grabs your attention: it's different, it has this gritty realistic close-to-the-book feel, and it's just not what I expected for a movie that tagged itself as "The next twilight series" -- barf. It has a promise of substance and it's not your typically manufactured eye-candy popcorn movie. The shaky camera work didn't even bother me, I think it added to the film's realistic feel. If you wanna complain about that, try watching films by Lars Von Trier.

Melancholia (2011)

Director & Writer: Lars Von Trier

Starring: Kirsten Dunst(Justine), Charlotte Gainsbourg (Claire), Kiefer Sutherland (John)

Taglines:

"Enjoy it while it lasts"

"It will change everything"

"Two sisters find their already strained relationship challenged as a mysterious new planet threatens to collide with the Earth."

- - - - - - 

I can't comment much about this film I think I need to rewatch this to be sure if i do like it or not. One thing I'm certain of is Lars Von Trier's genius. His films may not be appealing to everybody, but his films and the human issues involved are authentic and worth watching.

I've only seen two of his movies (The Idiots, Dancer in the Dark) so I was used to his Dogme 95 technique and I'm actually surprised to see the polished quality of Melancholia. There is still his trademark shaky camera movement, but the sandy, gritty texture is gone. The cinematography/shots are actually beautiful, although there are a few too-dark scenes which I didn't like. 

Iron Man 3 (2013)

Director: Shane Black (also known for directing Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)

Taglines:

"Unleash the power behind the armor."

"Prepare for a heavy metal!"

- - - - - - 

WHAT I WAS EXPECTING:

There has been a steady buzz that this will be RDJ's final stint as Iron Man (but i'm hoping that it wont be the case) so I was expecting a kick-ass story, mind blowing action scenes, some good ol' Stark humor, and lastly, an over-all better movie than the first two Iron Man films.

WHAT I FELT WHILE WATCHING:

I guess that's wishful thinking. More than half of the movie was boring. I felt a certain kind of awkwardness in relating to the characters, like it's the first time I met them, which to me is weird because Iron Man is my favorite superhero movie, thanks to RDJ. So to watch this without feeling any kind of excitement or any emotion for that matter is a horrible feeling on my part -- like im being disloyal to the franchise. So I forced a few laughs here and there. The biggest excitement I got so far was the time when I was about to take my first bite of my Big N' Tasty burger, YUM!

The first few scenes were bland. And seeing Guy Pearce in "pathetic nerd" phase was just so cliche that it made me wince.. seriously, can't they think of a better formula for a villain other than a scorned geek? What a waste. I wouldn't even dwell on the Mandarin/Killian storyline coz i'm not a comic book geek, so I don't care if they messed this up. 

There were several good parts, but unfortunately, it's not enough for me. I'm not hard to please with comic book movies, but in this case, it just felt that the production team didn't exert as much effort as they have had in the first film, maybe they got lazy because it's possible that it's the last installment? I don't know.

Some characters are blatantly underdeveloped that I don't even care what happens to them. 

The jokes fell flat most of the time. 

Editing is all over the place. Like watching a reality show.

I also felt that the movie was lagging at some points, with uninteresting scenes/interactions (I didn't like Rebecca Hall's character. As boring as watching a plant grow. Action scenes are sparse in the first half. And it's just so ridiculous for Tony Stark to give his address as an invitation for Mandarin's attack and yet not even prepare for it. Jarvis: "this suit is not ready for combat yet" -- seriously? He may have been enraged by what happened to Happy, but to invite a terrorist to his home without any serious battle plan was kinda contradictory to his obsession with safety to protect Pepper. So that part was just silly to me. Unless I missed something.

And I understand that the theme of this movie is basically Tony Stark as Tony Stark -- with the Iron Man armor more like a side dish than the main course. So they have this scene in which Tony builds things from scrap materials, invade The Mandarin's hideout ala Jason Bourne and attacking the guards with home-made gadgets, for a moment, a flashback of Home Alone came to mind. LOL. Whether that's a good thing or not, i'm not sure. It was just comical to me, that scene. A grown-up Kevin trying to be Jason Bourne in a Tony Stark body. hahaha.

Anyway, not to totally piss on this film, RDJ as Tony Stark is still awesome, and the main reason why I love Iron Man. He's turned a bit darker (thankfully not Nolan-dark) but he has retained his humor and charisma so that's a plus point. The effects/CGI is fantastic and seamless. The music has a nostalgic vibe and made the film somehow relatable and personal in that aspect. Ben Kingsley is adorable. Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts is one of the highlights of the film, like in the previous films, although in here I think she became more than cute, and levelled up to a fair amount of functionality and kick-assness lol. The scene with the Iron Man battalion was awesome! It's refreshing to see different Iron Man designs, there's one that even looked like Juggernaut lol. Tony Stark's bromance with Jarvis and Col. Rhodes is sweet and entertaining. :) 

WHAT I FELT AFTER THE MOVIE:

Seeing that post-credit, I felt numb. THAT WAS IT? <--- My exact reaction. So not only did they slap me with that so-so third installment, they also have the nerve to spit on my face with that irrelevant post-credit clip? Okay. If there's ever a fourth RDJ Iron Man film, I'll just download it!

THE VERDICT:

Despite of my complaints, this is not a total failure of a movie.. The effects are solid, there is more development with Stark and Potts, and seeing those suits and Iron Patriot pretty much made up for what the movie lacked in characterization, substance, and plot.

Still, after this hot mess of a popcorn film, I would strongly suggest that Iron Man be sold for scraps to the junkyard. (i'm just kidding, i truly love RDJ as Iron Man.. would love to see more of him)

MY RATING:  3 /5  It's still a watchable film for the general audience, but personally, I think I wasted ticket money. I could have watched that at home. Won't be too much of a difference.

I appreciate and welcome opinions/comments. Please LIKE & Rate, Share or Follow my blog, it may not change the world but it will change mine LOL :)

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BOOK REVIEW: Beauty's Punishment (1984)

Author:  A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Genre:  erotica, fiction
Year published:  19884

Beauty gets sent to the village, otherwise known as the kingdom’s sexual/punishment purgatory, together with Tristan, as a punishment for their insolence or disobedience. They haven’t even arrived to the village yet, and Beauty already forgot about her beloved Alexi, Prince Charming, or Lady Juliana, and she’s already getting it on with Prince Tristan…. naughty naughty itchy wormy…… they get auctioned off… punishment cross, human ponies with phalluses stuck up their asses, slaves being hanged in the walls, public punishments etc etc…. Beauty falls in love with her new master (who every now and then lends Beauty to his men, for them to be serviced of course) and mistress (who is the coldest and sternest mistress she ever had) — Captain and Mistress Lockley (which basing from descriptions and my imagination looks like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie — so I can’t blame Beauty for not wanting to leave the village ever!)… Tristan gets a new master, Nicholas, and they fall in love with each other. From what i’ve read, i thought this is it…. a very sweet love story buried under this sexual menagerie….. but before i get to say “awwww” and smile, the royal slaves get kidnapped by these arab bandits and bought to this exotic land….

I think this one is the best among the three. Although there are still alot of over the top laughable stuff you will never see in your regular porn stash, I still liked it because I felt somehow connected with Tristan and Beauty, and their struggle to find themselves. And they did find themselves, and embraced what they truly are. Also the devotion they showed to their current masters.

This one is better than the first, probably because it’s shorter — thus less weird stuff… but I didn’t skip through paragraphs and pages so it means it’s not that bad… this book focuses on Beauty and Tristan and how they finally grasp and embrace the situation they were thrown into. That some people really aren’t meant for this BDSM crap, and some actually crave for it. This is really not for everybody, but Anne Rice managed to at least redeem this series by guiding us through Beauty and Tristan’s psyche, and make us flinch less when they are treated as ponies and wall decorations.

But seriously though.. horsetails??

Human ponies?

-_-


MY RATING: 3/5

Check out MY ULTIMATE BOOK BUCKET LIST or the books I wanna read before I die!

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BOOK REVIEW: State of Fear (2004)

Author:  Michael Crichton
Genre: techno-thriller, SF
Country:  U.S.

"The plot is built around a group of eco-terrorists who are attempting to create a state of fear to further advance their agenda regarding global warming." - Wikipedia

While it’s not among Crichton’s best novels, still I have read worst (ahem Micro). It has interesting ideas, but the book at some point felt like it was more preachy than thrilling. Kenner and Bradley have become too one-dimensional it became annoying. Bradley — the typical misinformed with a one-track mind, and Kenner — the too well-informed know it all jack of all trades who seems to derive pleasure from pointing out how stupid everyone else is. The only person who acted close to a “real person” is Peter Evans. Yes he was whiny and annoying and self-absorbed, but he was human. he had feelings. at least he has conflicting emotions or opinions. like a real person. unlike the rest of the characters which are dull, flat, boring, stereotypes.

(highlight to reveal spoilers)  And that surprise twist (Morton), wasnt even a surprise at all… I was like, “It’s about time you showed your chubby billionaire face Morton”

Point is, Crichton was a sci-fi/techno thriller novelist. He used to surprise and excite me. In State of Fear, most of the time, it felt like it was a lecture, that he forgot he was supposed to write an epic disaster thriller.

It’s still a good read… one thing Crichton is really good at is he knows how to make boring scientific facts page after page interesting and readable.


MY RATINGS: 3/5 - still a page-turner.

Check out MY ULTIMATE BOOK BUCKET LIST or the books I wanna read before I die!

Thank you for reading! :) Like/Share this post or Follow my blog (I'll follow yours back) and don't forget to leave a comment below, let's talk!

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