[MOVIEHOUSE MADNESS] Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

"MOVIEHOUSE MADNESS" is when I review films currently shown in theaters. Also, I rarely watch new releases in the cinemas, but when I do, there are always face-palming incidences that make me regret going. So humor me and let me tell you what I think before you waste your ticket money, while refreshing your memory of the ABCs of movie house etiquette!


Sometimes, I think Michael Bay is really just a teenage boy on crack who is obsessed with his robots & cars & explosions - like a kid playing with his toys & bumping them against each other and not caring about anything else. Because that's evident yet again in his recent blockbuster movie, a term that I will grudgingly use in this post. It's not a movie, it's more like an extended video of metal clashing against metal & mind-numbing explosions, and product placements here & there - this is not a film, it's an over-sized boy's overindulgent wet dream.

Directed by:  Michael Bay
Written by:  Ehren Kruger (The Ring, Transformers 2 & 3, Scream 3 & 4)
Music by:  Steve Jablonsky (Gangster Squad, Ender's Game, Lone Survivor)
Cinematography:  Amir Mokri
Running Time:  165 mins
Budget:  $210 million
Box Office: $381 million and counting

Unfortunately, the way Michael Bay's indifference to critics' plea for a better plot & characterization, arrogantly justifying his lack of effort to make a substantial film that's more than loud explosions and crazy-ass robot action, this franchise is seriously losing its appeal to me. Not that I matter when it comes to its box office returns. That's the problem. WE don't matter. Whether we like the Bayformers or not, MB, with the gratuitous urging from Hollywood big guys, will continue to do whatever he does best because they know the money will keep on flowing. A few harsh words & negative reviews won't hurt this franchise, because as Bay have said, people are gonna see it anyway. Haters gonna hate, he'd still be riding Bee all the way to the bank. Besides, this franchise will continue to thrive, not because of Michael Bay, but because this is Transformers. Giant talking alien robots-slash-cars, man! That'll never get old! (I'm still waiting for Voltes V though, c'mon Hollywood!)

SOME RECENT MOVIES: The Raid 2, 300: Rise of an Empire, Oculus

Here are my reviews of The Raid 2, 300: Rise of an Empire, and Oculus

THE RAID 2 (BERANDAL)

Written, Edited, & Directed by:  Gareth Evans
Running Time: 150 mins
Budget: $4.5 million
Box Office: $5.2 million
*subtitled*

Large-scale, more ambitious, yet as tight & tense as the first one - Berandal is a must-see even for those who aren't into Asian movies. If The Raid hasn't changed your mind, this one will.

This is best seen uncut and subbed. Never watch a foreign movie with English dub.

I really loved The Raid despite the lack of plot & dialogue. I couldn't imagine how Gareth Evans could up the ante and make an equally engaging action movie. Now, obviously trying for complexity & character development, Evans serves us, not only a platter, but a buffet of interesting characters, unending action & gore, and a storyline that's bigger than a dilapidated building with cramped hallways. It may take several minutes into the film to be able to memorize all those names (especially if you're also trying to recall the names in the first film) but hey you know what? It doesn't matter. The minute the action starts, every little detail in your mind melts as you witness an insane amount of bone-crunching, blood-spurting, throat-gashing, jaw-breaking, ball-breaking, hammer-gouging scenes for more than two hours. While that amount of time may usually be a weakness to typical action flicks as they may need some time to cool down, Berandal just keeps on going and going and going with the same intensity as when it started - that is if not more.

On The Job (2013)

I can't wait for the Hollywood remake, not because I think they will make a better OTJ (nah! this one is already perfect.) but I'm just excited to see a well-deserving Filipino movie recognized and introduced to a bigger audience. Universal Pictures already acquired the rights for OTJ and the remake will be written, directed, and produced by Icelandic filmmaker Baltasar Kormakur (2 Guns), with Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) as a possible casting choice for the role of Tatang.

Directed by:  Erik Matti (Tiktik: The Aswang Chronicles, Rigodon)
Written by:  Michiko Yamamoto, Erik Matti
Music by:  Erwin Romulo
Cinematography:  Francis Ricardo Buhay III
Editing by:  Jay Halili
Running Time:  121 mins

From start, to the heart-pounding climax, up until the final scene, I was enthralled. 

This movie is beautiful despite the fact that it depicts the dirtier aspects of our country - geographically, politically, socially speaking. Seriously, this movie is perfect for me. I was actually speechless for most parts. Just superb. 

Four highlights. Gerald Anderson. Given that it's a bit of a stretch how such a pretty boy mestizo can be cast as an inmate/assassin, still, he shone as an adorable fledgling under the wings of Tatang. With just the right amount of grit & bravado his character needs, Anderson managed to convince us he is right for the role. Joey Marquez. I can't believe how vital his portrayal is to this movie. He could easily be mistaken as a miscast, but then we will be wrong. He brings in a subtle comic relief as well as some father-son scenes that will tug at your heartstrings, and it's so damn good to watch. One of his best performances I've seen (though I haven't seen a lot). Leo Martinez. There are no small roles, only small actors. And he's definitely not a small actor. He embraced his role, plain and simple. Joel Torre. I don't even need to say how good an actor Joel is, we all know that. But Jesus H. Christ he is GOD in here! Two scenes that gave me chills: In the climax/ending, just before he went out of jail, and after he went out. O_O

There's maybe one thing that I didn't like - the sex scenes. Halfway through I smiled and said to myself "it's nice to see a movie of this genre with no sexual scenes at all." Spoke too soon didn't I? I just thought it wasn't needed at all.

In conclusion, this movie is a must-see for everybody. I wish I see more of this in mainstream Pinoy cinemas. Everything is well put together, the music is exciting, the editing and cinematography is professionally done, the story is tight, the camerawork is engaging (a work of art, a labor of love. It's that good), the opening scene captures your attention, and the ending leaves you satisfied (or wanting more). It's a great cinematic experience. 

I have nothing else to say except...  

THIS!

My Rating: maybe a 4.5, but I'm giving it a 5/5 - one of the best local films I've seen and definitely a favorite. 

YOUR POINT OF VIEW: Who are your casting choices for the Hollywood remake?


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QUICKIES: Some 2013 movies

A group of retired crazy ass killers. Giant monsters and robots. And two movies with basically the same plot, same illogical twists & turns, and a "Jack Bauer/John McClane"-cloned protagonist to save the day.

Either I'm too lazy at the moment, or the movie does not deserve a full review. Here are my straight-to-the-point reviews, QUICKIES if you will, of RED 2, PACIFIC RIM, OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN, and WHITE HOUSE DOWN.

*     *     *

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Taglines:  

"Like father. Like son. Like hell!"                    "Yippee Ki-Yay Mother Russia"

Directed by:  John Moore

Starring:  Bruce Willis (John McClane), Jai Courtney (Jack McClane)

Plot Summary:

John McClane goes to Russia to see his son. His son hates him. There's an American-hating Russian terrorist group. WMDs. Lots of action. Lots of awful one-liners. Just leave your brains and follow where the explosion and gunfire is, you won't get lost in the plot.

*    *    *    *

Really, it's A GOOD DAY TO WRECK CARS. That's the only thing I enjoyed in this movie. 

I know that in a typical Hollywood action movie, an intricate plot seems to be the director's last priority. Just put in a lot of action scenes, a lot of gunplay, a lot of explosions, and who cares about the plot right? I for one can easily forgive a plotless action flick as long as it delivers on other aspects. But really, Yippe Ki-Yay Mother Russia?? Really?? A sign of a lazy plot is when it involves the CIA and stereotyped Russia. That's just so archaic. They weave this Chernobyl mastermind plot, yes it may sound exciting, but then they just leave it as it is. With no real villain, no real terrorist threat, no real conflict, and no surprise twists. 

The Raid: Redemption (2011)

Original Title: "Serbuan Maut"

Director/Writer: Gareth Evans

Starring: Iko Uwais (Rama), Joe Taslim (Jaka), Donny Alamsyah (Andi), Yayan Ruhian (Mad Dog), Ray Sahetapy (Tama)

Taglines:  
"1 Ruthless Crime Lord, 20 Elite Cops, 30 Floors of Chaos"
"When there's nowhere left to run or hide... you fight or die."

Plot Summary: "A SWAT team becomes trapped in a tenement run by a ruthless mobster and his army of killers and thugs." - IMDb

- - - - - - - - - -

This movie is awesome.

I never thought that an Indonesian movie could make me feel so satisfied with what I saw. O_O Watching the non-stop action inside a dilapidated building, cramped hallways, inside the rooms, even in an elevator, - up close and fast-paced gives you the feeling that you're in there. It has everything, from gunplay to knife fights, eye-gouging, and a lot of martial arts action.

MOVIE REVIEW: Jack Reacher (2012)

Director: Christopher McQuarrie

Starring: Tom Cruise (Jack Reacher), Rosamund Pike (Helen Rodin), Richard Jenkins (Alex Rodin), David Oyelowo (Emerson), Werner Herzog (The Zec), Robert Duvall (Cash)

Tagline:   "The law has limits. He does not."

Plot: In an innocent heartland city, five are shot dead by an expert sniper. The police quickly identify and arrest the culprit, and build a slam-dunk case. But the accused man claims he's innocent and says "Get Jack Reacher." - - - - - - - - 

I'll probably gonna rant, because this movie is a huge disappointment.

Storyline - slightly above average at best. At least better than that nightmare of a movie called Alex Cross. Still, it's nothing to gush about. Plot and characterization are not that polished. Few surprises/twists, no complicated mind-boggling awesome storyline to follow so for the duration of the film please be warned that your brain might go into "sleep mode" once in a while.