Showing posts with label American Literature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label American Literature. Show all posts

Saturday, September 6, 2014

BOOK REVIEW: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY:  A twisted page-turner that's a perfect fit for the "Well that escalated quickly!" meme. Engrossing, disturbing, well-paced, well-written: while the plot isn't exactly mind-blowing, still, the theme, the characters, and the narrative efficiently reels you in and deliciously messes with your mind that makes you forgive the occasional Wisteria Lane-ish domestic drama. 

Author:  Gillian Flynn
Genre:  Thriller
Year published:  2012
Country:  U.S.
# of pages:  555 (mmpb)

SPOILERS:  It's not like it hasn't been done before - this "surprise plot twist" (which is fast becoming the "expected plot twist" nowadays) that is supposed to make a book (or a movie) look cool. No, that wasn't surprising at all. But I think Gillian Flynn didn't expect us to fall for that particular plot twist halfway through the book. It's too obvious, the way she painted the scenes and words pointing to Nick's part in the "crime", so my mind keeps on telling me not to believe any of it because I'm sure it'll all turn around 360 degrees. And so it did. What actually shocked me was the ending. Now that's the real plot twist.

What makes Gone Girl different is the obviously unreliable narration that readers are supposed to digest while being well aware that the two central characters are both manipulative psychos (I know I'm being too harsh. Demented, maybe? lol) with a penchant for lying and selfishness, yet we still (or at least I am) root for one character or the other. You hate Nick for being a spineless, cheating bastard - you enjoy seeing him get punished for his infidelity. Then you hate Amy for being the ultimate evil bitch - you wanna see her get slammed face-first against a pit of burning charcoal. You can't wait how this story ends. Who gets their well-deserved punishment? Then that ending. It's like a resounding bitchslap to my face when I read that part up to the final sentence. I was like WTF? Then I smile. And I mumble something like "I like this girl. (pertaining to Flynn). Because I realize that, yes, they do belong to each other. They're both twisted and dark to the highest degree and that kind of twistedness couldn't be complemented by a normal human being. So yes they deserve each other. And for that ending I give Gillian Flynn a 4/5.



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Sunday, July 20, 2014

[BOOK + MOVIE]: The Turn of the Screw and The Innocents

In BOOK + MOVIE, I feature one book and its film adaptation(s) and tell you if the movie versions are as good as the source material. I'm quite aware that films & novels are different mediums, but I'm only comparing the general mood and how it affects me as a reader & viewer.


With a plethora of movies nowadays with "I-betcha-didn't-see-that-coming" plots, sometimes, I just wanna think that The Innocents is just a simple ghost story. But after reading Henry James' The Turn of the Screw, I'm convinced that there's more to the story than ghosts or delusional protagonists. The way James wrote almost everything in an ambiguous way that forces the readers to decide and convince themselves what really happened makes this one of the best novella of its kind that I've read.

Author:  Henry James
Year Published:  1898
# of pages: 157
Genre:  novella, horror gothic fiction
Country:  U.K., U.S.
Baffling us by clearly indicating that the main character could be unstable, and the one character that supports her could also be unreliable in a way that it's clear she's submissive, while supplying us with sufficient head-scratching moments coming from the uncannily intuitive children, makes us reconsider the plausibility of otherworldly presence in the house.

Are there really ghosts? Or are there just loose screws in The Governess' head? That's just what makes this story stand out.

Monday, May 19, 2014

BOOK REVIEW: Imperial Bedrooms

Written by:  Bret Easton Ellis
Preceded by:  
Less Than Zero
# of pages:  169
Country:  U.S.
Year published:  2010
Here I am, after a less than thrilling experience with Less Than Zero, re-entering the dirty - no, make that filthy - mind of Clay, now older but definitely not wiser. If you haven't read LTZ or this book yet, let me tell you this, Ellis' characters are a bunch of unlikeable, unrelatable self-absorbed pricks. Reading Imperial Bedrooms, somehow was easier for me maybe because it was plot-driven or that Clay was much more focused (with himself though) or maybe because I already have a background with the story. It also helps that I've seen the movie version of LTZ and I already have a face for Julian (Robert Downey Jr.) and Blair (Jami Gertz), though for some weird reason instead of seeing Andrew McCarthy in my mind as Clay - Emilio Estevez keeps popping up.

At first glance, I thought Clay has matured. I thought the rest of the characters have grown up. Boy was I wrong! I think they're worse than when they were kids! What shallow, pathetic, empty lives they live. What's more pitiful is the fact that I have willingly let myself get sucked into this scary world AGAIN! 

Saturday, April 19, 2014

BOOK REVIEW: Fifty Shades of Grey

**just reposting from my Goodreads account. Didn't even remember writing a review for this one - that's a sign how much I tried to forget about this crap.

Well , well.. That was painful. And not in a good way.
 
Author:  E.L. James
Country:  UK
Genre:  Erotic Romance, BDSM
# of pages:  514
Year Published:  2011


Holy cow, that was horrible writing! Thank God I'm done with this one!

My SUBCONSCIOUS is currently floating in a river - lifeless. Just wasn't able to take all the crap I force-fed her.


And my INNER GODDESS was wondering about how many shades of psychosis those characters really have. She sank into the plush sofa in my head and put her feet in the coffee table, grabbed her copy of Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea and totally immersed herself to the silly but at least funny anecdotes in the book. But not before she rolled her eyes at me. Yeah. My snobbish, snappy inner goddess is not amused by this particular choice of book. Good thing Christian didn't see that eye-roll, or she would have kicked his controlling, stalker, psycho ass once he utters his usual "So help me god, Lucresia's Inner Goddess, I will take you over my knees and smack you hard with my twitchy palms." Now let's see who's the real Dom. -_-


Seriously, this is worse than Twilight.


So many times I wanted to give up & not finish it, but, I needed to know what it is that made this book so popular.

Saturday, March 29, 2014

BOOK REVIEW: Dracula The Un-Dead (The Authoritatively Disappointing Sequel to the Original Classic)

In a nutshell, we get to see how the band of heroes are living 25 years after their encounter with Count Dracula.

Written by:  Dacre Stoker & Ian Holt
Genre:  Horror novel

# of pages:  424
Country:  United States
Year Published:  2009

Sounds interesting, right?


Oh and it's written by Bram Stoker's great grand-nephew, Dacre Stoker! Are you really stoked now? I sure was!

They claim it's the true sequel to our beloved classic. An authoritative sequel in fact. I believed them. How gullible was I? 

Borrowing a quote from the book, Dracula The Un-Dead at its best is made up of only a few, special, scattered moments. I don't know which or how much Dacre or Ian wrote, so I can't pinpoint who is really to blame, but let me just mention (if you haven't googled them yet) that Dacre is a track & field coach, while Ian Holt has previously been a direct-to-DVD horror screenwriter who has been a fanatic of anything Dracula-related for a long time. You can bet a dollar or two who did most of the writing, and which one whose name served as a huge banner ad.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

BOOK REVIEW: The Shining

“Any big hotels have got scandals," he said. "Just like every big hotel has got a ghost. Why? Hell, people come and go. Sometimes one of em will pop off in his room, heart attack or stroke or something like that. Hotels are superstitious places. No thirteenth floor or room thirteen, no mirrors on the back of the door you come in through, stuff like that."


Written by:  Stephen King
Year:  1977
Genre:  Horror, gothic novel
Followed by:  Doctor Sleep
Pages:  447
I have read The Shining before, but my memory of it was hazy I needed to read it again when it was voted Book of the Month by my bookclub/group. Now I'm sure that the movie is indeed better. Stanley Kubrick's version still scares the hell out of me! He delivered the creep/chill factor that I should have felt from reading the book. Sure, King has the right to complain if he didn't like Kubrick's version, it's his novel after all. But Kubrick's movie will forever be remembered as a cinematic masterpiece... while the more faithful tv adaptation (which I haven't watched, but I'm planning to) will be further pushed into obscurity. King should at least be thankful for that. Just sayin'.

Stephen King may not be the greatest writer in the universe, but he is a great story teller. I have loved several of his short stories & novels, and I have constantly defended him whenever people say he's a talentless hack. So imagine my dismay with The Shining. 


Wednesday, August 7, 2013

BOOK + MOVIE: Watchmen

Who watches the Watchmen?


"Yes, we were crazy, we were kinky, we were Nazis, all those things that people say. We were also doing something because we believed in it. We were attempting, through our personal efforts, to make our country a safer and better place to live in." - Hollis Mason (novel)

Friends have been simply raving about the adaptation. After reading the graphic novel, my expectations of the movie are ridiculously even higher. Watchmen (novel) is simply awesome in my opinion, so the next day I plopped my lazy ass on the couch and started the movie.

The movie was three hours long so I'm guessing it's the Director's Cut, but I'm still planning on watching the Ultimate Cut which I've read is more or less 4 hours long. So, basing from the version I just watched, did the film adaptation deliver?

As a faithful adaptation, yes it delivered. It's amazing to see a graphic novel come to life the way Zack Snyder made it - every frame, even the minute details that I loved in the novel were done essentially the same way in the movie. The frame-by-frame zooming in or out was there in the movie as well. In terms of content, the movie still retained the gist of what the novel is all about but less meatier. I like Snyder's technical style, but the gloss & vibe of the movie didn't feel too 80's, which is a shame because there's something about that era that I love. Yes, in alot of ways Snyder's Watchmen did deliver (and more than enough... and better than most comicbook movies), but essentially, there's something lacking, there's something uneven in his execution.
I did love the opening credits, the history of the Minutemen was nicely summed up in a very entertaining, eye-candy way. I also love the fact that the cast were very similar to the novel's list of characters, with one or two exceptions. Like I said, it's a very faithful adaptation, even with the changed ending. So what went wrong?

It's not that the movie failed in general. This is just me. Maybe my prior knowledge about the story affected the way I regarded the film, maybe it's a typical book-to-movie expectations of those who love book versions, I don't know. This is my personal opinion and I could very well be wrong. Anyway, these are some of the things I found in the movie that didn't seem right.

For those who haven't seen or read Watchmen, this is NOT a spoiler-free environment. You've been warned. :)
Ozymandias. For me, Matthew Goode as the beautiful face of consumerism & all that is good and fit is a miscast. It's not about him as an actor, and if it was any other character or movie, he would have been great. But in the novel version, Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias is a big body-building guy who was able to beat The Comedian to fruity pulp & throw him out of the window without any difficulties. Goode just doesn't seem like the guy who could do that. Also, novel-Ozy looked like a harmless guy, a retired superhero who was smart enough to quit and venture into business... and nothing else. Forgettable. Charming, unassuming face. Goode, from the get-go looked sinister. Like he had evil plans swirling around his head the moment he was born. He sneers, he smirks, he looked like someone who knows something that most do not. And that's where Goode's Ozy fails. But, I liked how he played the "assumed homosexual" part. Really nice.

Laurie Juspeczyk. Playing Silk Spectre II, Malin Akerman falls second on my Miscast List (there are only two of them on the list lol). She had her good moments & she did look alot like the novel-Laurie, but most of the time she felt flat. I liked the movie-Laurie better, but that's only because novel-Laurie is a whiny bitch who just uses her womanly wiles, whether it's intentional or not, to toy with her guys' feelings. It's interesting to note though that she is the reason for "jump-starting" both Dan's & Jon's waning passion to save the world. Although she used tears & her boobs for that. Girl power!

The ending. I had no problem with Snyder changing the alien ending of the novel into a typical "terrorist attack" angle - I guess he had to do that for easier explanation. Admittedly, the alien factor kind of surprised me a bit as well. Like woah where the hell did that come from? But I still prefer that. It's more tongue-in-cheek, has more comicbook vibe, like Ozy quoting Hitler, the bigger the lie the more believable it gets. And what's bigger than aliens, right? For me, the terrorist angle is cliched. Plus, if that's Ozy's way of uniting the world, is it really believable? Countries suddenly feeling mushy and peaceful and not blaming the U.S. for its haphazard handling of a powerful weapon (Dr. Manhattan)? The way the novel presented the alien angle & Ozy's logic, it's easily believable to unite the world against "alien invasion" rather than a terrorist mayhem, obviously, even though unwittingly, caused by one country. But that's not my real issue regarding the ending, it's actually Rorschach's ending. To me, the reason why the novel felt so perfect is because it depicted the imperfect world of vigilantes. We're all shown a dysfunctional, even sociopathic, lives behind those masks. How they fought for justice, and eventually fought against society's fear of them. And while most of them have hung their capes and went on with their "normal" lives, only Rorschach continued his fight against injustice. And that's the reason why I liked him. He is painted as a sociopath, the antithesis of a costumed hero (e.g. Bruce Wayne/Batman) - a smelly loner who lives in a dump, with an affinity for violence as a means to his end, and with a black & white view of the world. Yet, he is the real hero here. His real face is Rorschach's, Kovacs is only his alter ego. He refused to be domesticated by the government's Keene Act, because he felt the need to clean the streets reeking of evil. He never stopped being a hero. And how did Alan Moore kill him? He was blasted into pieces by Jon while Rorschach's only closest friend, Dan, is being all lovey-dovey let's-kiss-now-because-the-world-is-saved with Laurie inside Ozy's fortress. He was killed without anyone batting an eyelash. And there in lies the real tragedy, which is in continuance with the novel's theme or mood - that is the futility of everything they've worked for or they thought they were fighting for. We've seen that in the Tales of the Black Freighter, with Ozy's grandiose plan for utopia, and now with Rorschach. Like The Comedian upon figuring out what's really happening, he said it's all a joke. They're all pawns to society/government/whatever crap humans can think of, and history do tend to repeat itself, no matter what heroics have been done. And while the movie version was better for most, because of Dan's emotional reaction and Jon's hesitation before killing Rorschach which makes his death seem relevant, the fact is and my interpretation of the novel is that it IS irrelevant. Despite him being the only one who really cared for the world without any agenda, still, he is irrelevant. That's what made the novel perfect in its tragic and imperfect reality.

And now I've rambled on too much.

There are things that I really liked in movie. Carla Gugino as Silk Spectre, Jeffrey Dean Morgan as The Comedian, and Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. They fit in their roles perfectly and I was thoroughly entertained everytime they're included in the scenes. Patrick Wilson as Dan was good, still geeky, but a bit cooler than the novel-Dan. Dr. Manhattan is essentially the novel-doc come to life, but I was just annoyed with the glowing blue - it hurts my eyes. Oh and I love the owlship! :)

I just have to mention this, so the lesbian superhero & her lover were murdered for being "lesbian whores", and the "antagonist" is a possible homosexual. Hmmm. Is that tongue-in-cheek as well? Possibly. Hopefully. lol.

To finally end this, the novel is fantastic, not one page to throw away. And I'll say that the movie is a breath of fresh air. While The Avengers still remain my favorite ensemble cast superhero movie mainly because of its comic relief and Joss Whedon's execution (kill me now, pretentious bastards =P), Watchmen is the best adaptation in my opinion and it also stands out among all those influx of CGI explosion superpower extravaganza. But it also makes me wonder, is Snyder's adaptation really a good movie OR is it only because of the novel's intriguing content and great story? It's like re-painting Mona Lisa, maybe it could be done stroke by stroke, but is the essence really captured? Is the smile still as enigmatic? I think Snyder did a good job technically/visually-speaking, but I don't think he grasped the novel's totality or essence. But then again, can anyone do both? That is, to delve deeper into the complexity of the novel & the characters while remaining as faithful to the novel as Snyder has been?


My Rating:
(novel) - 5/5
(movie) - 3.5/5
- mainly for the technical/visuals



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Monday, July 8, 2013

BOOK REVIEW: Digital Fortress

Author:  Dan Brown
Genre:  Techno-thriller
Country:  U.S.
Year:  1998
Pages:  430 (Paperback)
"She was still struggling to comprehend its existence. She's spent her life breaking codes, firmly denying the existence of the ultimate code. Every code is breakable - the Bergofsky Principle! She felt like an atheist coming face to face with God." - Digital Fortress


After reading five books by Dan Brown, it seems that there's no hope left. I've read and liked The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons back when I still thoroughly enjoyed badly-written books with equally badly-structured plots and 2D characters AND sugar-coated with a whirlwind of mystery & thrill rides, but seriously Mr. Brown, THIS HAS GOT TO STOP. Book after book, it's the same pattern, same twists, same underdeveloped characters that after a few pages I already know what's going to happen. It's the same thing over and over.


The dialogues range from bad to cringe-worthy. The twists are so very predictable. The main characters, who are supposedly "academes" & "geniuses", seem to be so dense & do stupid things most of the time. And that climax where a group of "NSA-elite" tries to figure out the clues left for them & they stand there totally baffled and useless, like lumps of warm crap.. I almost wanted to shout the answer, but I know they won't hear me, not because it's a book but because they're a bunch of dimwits created by the master dimwit himself - Dan Brown.


On a slightly positive note,

Friday, July 5, 2013

BOOK REVIEW: The Lost Symbol

Author:  Dan Brown
Pages:  671 (Paperback)
Country:  United States
Year:  2009
Genre: Mystery, Thriller

This is Brown's third novel that features Harvard University symbologist Robert Langdon.

I don't wanna hate, but Dan Brown's formula really is becoming annoying. It may have worked in The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons (I really liked both), but this one is bordering on painful, laughable, & unbelievably predictable.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

BOOK + MOVIE: Less Than Zero

Author: Bret Easton Ellis (American Psycho)
Country: United States
Year: 1985
Pages: 208
"The rich and spoiled children of Los Angeles have it all -- sex, drugs, fast cars, air-conditioned mansions. Theirs is a world shaped by television, rock music, and too much money; it is a world devoid of feeling and of hope. In a startling, staccato style reminiscent of music videos, Bret Easton Ellis re-creates this world in a dizzying journey through endless parties, seedy rock clubs, and the seamy underworld of drug dealing and prostitution. Haunting, unnerving, Less Than Zero is the inside story of a generation on a desperate search for the ultimate sensation."


Welcome to the world of the Lindsay Lohans, Paris Hiltons, & the Kardashians - and here I thought that Gossip Girl (tv show.. haven't read the books) was too much. Teenagers acting like adults, involved in a lot of sex, drugs, alcohol abuse which would probably make my mom froth in the mouth if she knew I was watching/reading about it.

The book sells itself as "The sensational national book-seller" - well, it is sensational indeed, to think this was published in the 80's, it actually surprised me that I felt appalled, offended, disturbed by what I was reading (I actually thought I have already been desensitized in this day and age of glorified teenage sex & drugs in media. How wrong was I?).

"Written on the bathroom wall at Pages, below where it says 'Julian gives great head. And is dead.': 'Fuck you Mom and Dad. You suck cunt. You suck cock. You both can die because that's what you did to me. You left me to die. You both are so fucking hopeless. Your daughter is an Iranian and your son is a faggot. You both can rot in fucking shitting asshole hell. Burn, you fucking dumbshits. Burn, fuckers. Burn.'"

I felt the angst, really.

"....and she thinks I want to hug her or something and she comes over to me and puts her arm around my back and says something like 'I think we've all lost some sort of feeling.'"

Sex, drugs, alcohol, nihilism. Disappear here. Decline. People are afraid to merge. Clay's detachment or numbness to what's happening around him. I really don't care. Like these kids who apparently have nothing to lose, aside from losing feeling, who resort to rape of a twelve year old girl, drugs, even jerking off to slasher/porn just to feel alive. The main character tries to escape that world, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, I'm not sure... because I don't like him.

My Rating: 2.5/5 - I get the message. It's a life of ennui and indifference (it's interesting to see a group of kids already feeling this). Party after party, meaningless sex and faceless hook-ups. It's really a good close-up look in that world. And the stream of consciousness narrative works. It's not bad. But did I care for the story and characters? No. There's no connection, aside for the occasional pity towards the kids for the lack of parental love and guidance, and the shock and disgust at the horrible lifestyle of the rich, bored, and drugged. There's no satisfaction. The first word I actually uttered after reading the last page is "Fuck." A lazy, unsatisfied, yet a bit relieved "fuck."


* * * *

Directed by: Marek Kanievska
Screenplay by: Harley Peyton
Music by: Thomas Newman
Year: 1987
Running Time: 98 mins.
Starring: Andrew McCarthy (Clay), Jami Gertz (Blair),
Robert Downey Jr. (Julian Wells), James Spader (Rip)
Loosely-based is the operative word here. And thank god for that. In the book, it's all Clay. In the movie, I'm so glad they gave Julian the central focus, because Clay, for me, is just so damn negative and boring. I'm not saying Julian Wells is all sugar, spice, and everything nice, but at least he's got character. It works too that the actor portraying him is my favorite Robert Downey Jr. - every scene he's in, he steals the show. Andrew McCarthy, oh wimpy Andrew I have disliked you since Pretty in Pink, but I think he's an okay fit as Clay. Because Clay, to me, is just unlikeable. Although if you wanna look for the complexity of the "book Clay", then I don't think McCarthy could deliver in that aspect. He can do "detached" yes, "unlikeable" yes, "wimpy" yep, "complex"? uhmm no i don't think so. Jami Gertz, for me, is a miscast, I was looking for a prettier, more elegant Blair... and better-acting. James Spader did great as Rip.

One thing I like about this movie is that they gave spine and focus on the friendship of Clay, Blair, & Julian - which I didn't really see in the book. It gave the story more substance. But that's just me wanting to get something from it all. I know how Hollywood romanticize everything, and the book isn't that at all.




TRIVIAS (IMDb): 

  • Brad Pitt was paid $38 for his uncredited appearance. (Partygoer /Preppie Guy at Fight) (his second uncredited gig in his early career) 

  • Keanu Reeves was originally cast as Clay Easton. 
  • This is the first film that Robert Downey Jr. is billed as "Robert Downey Jr.". All films previous he was billed as simply "Robert Downey". 

The Verdict:

The movie version is a toned-down, infinitely cleaner & more positive take on Ellis' disturbing novel - it still has captured the decadent lifestyle of the characters, but less of the shock value the novel has presented. I say "more positive" because the characters had redeeming qualities here, which the novel lacked, and the ending was kind of a happy ending despite of what happened. The movie, I felt, went on a cowardly path because it basically changed everything in the book. The Blair-Clay approach of the movie is so typical of Hollywood and it's one of the movie's aspects that I really didn't like. Two things that make this movie legit and worth watching though is the music which gives you that wonderful 80's vibe, and Robert Downey Jr.'s moving performance.


My Rating: 3.5/5 - Not a great one, but if you're an RDJ and 80's fan, then this movie is for you. I gave an extra .5 or so rating mainly for Downey's presence.




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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

BOOK REVIEW: The Hunger Games (2008)

Author:  Suzanne Collins
Country:  U.S.
Genre:  YA, dystopian
Let's get the writing style comment out of the way: It's somewhere in the middle of "average, but okay enough" writing and "verging on appalling, poorly-written crap". Somewhere in between, probably a tad leaning towards the former.

What made this book a fun and worthwhile read is the story-telling and the pacing. I gotta give Collins credit here, she gave us this world of dystopian future (and while it's not really developed -- just a bunch of vague references about its history and such.) and the horror of poverty, hunger, violence, and political control that's quite interesting. I wouldn't dwell on the plot itself, because as I've said, this story was told in an exciting way so I'm willing to let go of the seeming plotholes and lack of plot/character development. I wouldn't even question the ubiquitous and invisible cameras (which couldn't focus much on trees because of the leaves, and yet it can capture every single scene that's happening inside an almost-covered mini-cave.) And I also thought there is a story behind that Cinna character, why he is so unlike the Capitol people, with his simple garments and neatly-cropped hair (which is obviously not the trend in that place.) - (highlight to reveal) but no, there was no big reveal.

I've finished this book very quickly, because of three things: pacing, plot, and Katniss Everdeen.

It's told through Katniss' point of view and while that could be a tremendous limitation and failing of any book, in this case, Collins managed to create a character interesting enough for readers to relate to. Yes she has a disillusioned attitude, but she is totally devoted to her family and she's loyal. She's smart, but painfully naive at times esp. when it involves her co-tribute Peeta Mellark. Those are the times which I can't help but roll my eyes, but then I remember that Katniss is a 16 year old girl who has been feeding her family even before she had the capacity to do it - so I forgive her for that. Let her be naive and confused about boys! Anyway, yes I have enjoyed seeing thru Katniss' eyes. (that's an example of a strong, independent, smart female protagonist. I would love Bella and Anastasia to be thrown into the arena as well. That's the part I would surely enjoy reading graphic violence.) The only downside is, the action is limited, and you already have the feeling that she will win the game because she's the narrator -_- Unless Collins shifts to another POV when Katniss dies, which is not a good idea for me.

The pacing kept you turning the pages, or in my case, swiping the screen to the left.

The idea of a dictatorial Capitol gathering teenagers from its oppressed districts to battle to their deaths in an arena is too much for me. Yes it could be possible, because humanity is really in a moral decline now and who knows how we would act in a dystopian future? But then again, these are kids. But okay, I mean, The Lord of the Flies, and Battle Royale, right? While there are no detailed graphic violence written, (except when a tribute had another one pinned down and was figuring out how to cut her up in such a gruesome way to provide unforgettable action for the audiences), but the fact that these are kids fighting for their lives, and some are even enjoying killing, for the sole benefit of the Capitol's entertainment and form of control, is disturbing. What is the purpose of this battle-to-the-death teenage version? Surely there are other ways to remind your districts not to rebel again right? In fact, I thought that by endangering the lives of teenagers yearly would ignite an even more fiery anger in the hearts of the people, but then again, this is not my novel. So fine. I'll bite.

** Twilight has "perfect/beautiful", Fifty Shades has "carnal desire" as their authors' favorite repeat words. This book has "arbitrary" -- it's only been used 3-4 times but i found it amusing to see it being used because it just stood out like a sore thumb among all the rest of the simple words in the page.

THE VERDICT:

While this is not a literary classic, it still has its own special flavor which makes it worth reading. It's enjoyable enough if you are willing to ignore the underdeveloped characters and kind of juvenile writing style. I'll put it maybe three to four shelves under Harry Potter, and six or seven shelves above Twilight.



MY RATING:
3.5/5 - I enjoyed it, but it'll probably just be a one-time read.



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Sunday, April 28, 2013

BOOK REVIEW: Beauty's Release (1985)


So here we are… book three. The whole time I kept on wondering why the hell did Anne Rice make this into three parts? Why prolong the agony of her readers? It’s just a repetition of weird and gross stuff. She could have just condensed it into one book! Seriously. Reading about impalement, anal sex, human ponies, orgies, spanking, phalluses with horsetails, rape ad nauseum is not fun! Beauty/tristan/laurent falling in love with every freaking masters they have and forgetting them the second they meet a new one… wow.

This book, for me, is the worst among the three. While it has its good parts, still after enduring book 1 and 2, my patience is limited.

The only person worth reading about is Laurent. At least that boy has guts.

Tristan (after being so damn interesting in book 2, has turned into this spineless, weepy, irrelevant character) was pushed aside into this dark pathetic corner where he continually mopes about some pathetic unimportant things. (SPOILERS) After hurting his supposed “love of his life” Master Nicholas because he refused to go back with him to the village, and then resent him because Nicholas didn't punish him, then he realizes he actually still loves Nicholas but forgot about it because he didn't get spanked hard enough! How gay are you??? Pathetic, whiny bitch.


And Beauty… wow Beauty. She’s like the mother of all Bellas and Anastasias. At least those girls stuck to one guy. This pathetic moron falls in love with ever guy or girl willing to whip her ass. She whines about missing her previous masters/mistresses but then gets it on with the first guy with a cock and a smack and then she’s like “Inanna who? Alexi who? Prince charming who?”. Slutty moron bitch.


Maybe I couldn’t blame them because they were forced into this sex slavery BDSM world at the age of what 15? 16? It’s not just physical torment, this is psychological abuse, emotional manipulation. THEY’RE JUST KIDS FOR GOD’S SAKE! Yes it’s still written better than most erotic novels. But if you strip down this sexual fantasy world? All you get is this: 

  • Teenagers gathered to be humiliated and used as sex slaves, forced and taught to be submissives and that their masters own them. 
  • All day they are naked and they don’t catch a cold. 
  • They don’t bathe everyday and yet every chance they get they are humping around like wild sex-crazed rabbits. Sexy!! -_- 
  • They don’t seem to feel any other physiologic needs like hunger, thirst, poop/pee time, and other important human feelings because they’re just so damn horny every single minute! 
  • They don’t know what real love is (which is evidenced by their annoying fickle-mindedness) because they’re just kids messed up by this weird sexual psycho world! So yeah, totally not sexy -_- 
(SPOILERS BELOW)

I mean, first they’re treated as the lowliest of slaves, then they get to the village and treated as —well still slaves — but also public property, then they were kidnapped and brought to this Arab kingdom treated as animals who are incapable of human speech and intellect. And then they get sent back to the village and treated as PONIES. And they loved all of that! No wonder these characters are 69 shades of messed up!

What surprised me the most are not the ponies or phalluses up the ponies' asses all day, or the circumcised females. It’s the ending. King Laurent marries Princess Beauty, and I was like wha— wait just a second, what?? Just because both of them were trying to figure out what love is doesn’t mean they found love together. They didn’t even know each other until the last part of book 2. And they only slept together on the journey back to the village. Probably the most non-sexual intimacy they shared is Laurent helping Beauty get dressed. And that’s it they live happily ever after?? Well, I guess better than Tristan who’s probably more girly than Beauty.


I’m just glad I'm finished with this.

MY RATING: 1/5

I’ll probably give it a 0.5 specially because of that part where Laurent got punished with a mixture of flour and honey on his goods TO ATTRACT FLIES! And I’m pretty sure Laurent shared that feeling quite vividly — he felt flies crawling up his ass… yes he said that if I'm not mistaken. My god, and I thought I could handle kinky.



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BOOK REVIEW: Beauty's Punishment (1984)

Author:  A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Genre:  erotica, fiction
Year published:  19884
Beauty gets sent to the village, otherwise known as the kingdom’s sexual/punishment purgatory, together with Tristan, as a punishment for their insolence or disobedience. They haven’t even arrived to the village yet, and Beauty already forgot about her beloved Alexi, Prince Charming, or Lady Juliana, and she’s already getting it on with Prince Tristan…. naughty naughty itchy wormy…… they get auctioned off… punishment cross, human ponies with phalluses stuck up their asses, slaves being hanged in the walls, public punishments etc etc…. Beauty falls in love with her new master (who every now and then lends Beauty to his men, for them to be serviced of course) and mistress (who is the coldest and sternest mistress she ever had) — Captain and Mistress Lockley (which basing from descriptions and my imagination looks like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie — so I can’t blame Beauty for not wanting to leave the village ever!)… Tristan gets a new master, Nicholas, and they fall in love with each other. From what i’ve read, i thought this is it…. a very sweet love story buried under this sexual menagerie….. but before i get to say “awwww” and smile, the royal slaves get kidnapped by these arab bandits and bought to this exotic land….

I think this one is the best among the three. Although there are still alot of over the top laughable stuff you will never see in your regular porn stash, I still liked it because I felt somehow connected with Tristan and Beauty, and their struggle to find themselves. And they did find themselves, and embraced what they truly are. Also the devotion they showed to their current masters.

This one is better than the first, probably because it’s shorter — thus less weird stuff… but I didn’t skip through paragraphs and pages so it means it’s not that bad… this book focuses on Beauty and Tristan and how they finally grasp and embrace the situation they were thrown into. That some people really aren’t meant for this BDSM crap, and some actually crave for it. This is really not for everybody, but Anne Rice managed to at least redeem this series by guiding us through Beauty and Tristan’s psyche, and make us flinch less when they are treated as ponies and wall decorations.

But seriously though.. horsetails??

Human ponies?

-_-


MY RATING: 3/5


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BOOK REVIEW: The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty (1983)

Author:  A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Year Published:  1983
Genre:  erotica
QUICK RECAP: Beauty has been sleeping for 100 years & gets raped by her “prince charming” and voila, she wakes up! She’s brought to his kingdom (naked and constantly humiliated all throughout the journey) and was introduced to this world of sex slavery and BDSM.

All throughout, Beauty gets to be degraded, used & abused in every way by the Queen and down to lowliest of servants in the kitchen/servant’s hall. Beauty offers her never-ending loyalty to her Prince, falls in love with Prince Alexi, gets mesmerized by her Lady Julianna, and becomes awestruck with the Queen. Yeah… We might have an idea that Beauty is not exactly a stick-to-one kind of gal.

THE VERDICT:

Weird. Degrading. Weird. Just weird. Oh and yeah, you might think it’s really weird. I guess you wouldn’t understand/appreciate this book if you’re not really into BDSM because this is total icky slave humiliation and “training” stuff (which some would probably love).

This book would be okay IF the slaves signed up for that “sex-slavery training” willingly… but in the story, they were gathered from their kingdoms and brought into all this stuff, not of their own free will. So if you consider everything that happened to the princes and princesses, it’s rape, inhumane treatment, “animal” cruelty since they were treated as animals, and other taboo stuff. And yet, while it is weird and icky, you can’t deny Anne Rice’s ability to make anything sensual. Also she delves into human psychology and desire. You find yourself wanting to try to understand why slavery/dominance is appealing to others. How they think and feel at the moment. And though there are A LOT of scenes that weirded me out, it’s the struggle of Beauty to understand why her abject predicament suddenly feels right to her, that caught my interest. That even when her mind says no, her body betrays her…

Once you get past the initial shock and barf-inducing laughable scenes, or if you found yourself skipping through paragraphs, then you’ll realize it’s not that bad. But it’s just not that good as well. Basically it’s weird and gross. lol


I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hate it. Despite of the WTF moments in the book, Anne is known for her talent in sensuality and erotica but this is not for me. I’m not squeamish or anything, I just didn’t like it. But I didn’t stop bec. there’s a mystery behind the story and I kept thinking Anne would redeem herself in the next installment.


MY RATING: 2/5 - recommended to those who appreciate erotica, but to the squeamish, conservative types, please be warned.


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BOOK REVIEW: State of Fear (2004)

Author:  Michael Crichton
Genre: techno-thriller, SF
Country:  U.S.
"The plot is built around a group of eco-terrorists who are attempting to create a state of fear to further advance their agenda regarding global warming." - Wikipedia


While it’s not among Crichton’s best novels, still I have read worst (ahem Micro). It has interesting ideas, but the book at some point felt like it was more preachy than thrilling. Kenner and Bradley have become too one-dimensional it became annoying. Bradley — the typical misinformed with a one-track mind, and Kenner — the too well-informed know it all jack of all trades who seems to derive pleasure from pointing out how stupid everyone else is. The only person who acted close to a “real person” is Peter Evans. Yes he was whiny and annoying and self-absorbed, but he was human. he had feelings. at least he has conflicting emotions or opinions. like a real person. unlike the rest of the characters which are dull, flat, boring, stereotypes.

(highlight to reveal spoilers)  And that surprise twist (Morton), wasnt even a surprise at all… I was like, “It’s about time you showed your chubby billionaire face Morton”

Point is, Crichton was a sci-fi/techno thriller novelist. He used to surprise and excite me. In State of Fear, most of the time, it felt like it was a lecture, that he forgot he was supposed to write an epic disaster thriller.

It’s still a good read… one thing Crichton is really good at is he knows how to make boring scientific facts page after page interesting and readable.


MY RATINGS: 3/5
- still a page-turner.


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BOOK REVIEW: Fifty Shades Trilogy (2012)

Author:  E.L. James
Genre:  erotica
It took me several weeks to finish this trilogy because I just couldn’t read it straight. I tried, but the urge to punch myself in the gut whenever I read about Ana’s inner goddess & Christian’s darkening gaze becomes too strong most of the time so I had to take long breaks.

I know I could have chosen to not finish these books, but I guess, all of us have that tendency to be a masochist for Grey. Ugh, not. I just try to finish every book I start. There’s only one exception to that rule, and that’s a book about a man looking for his sword and which involves a detailed instruction on how to become/simulate a tree.

Anyway, I downloaded the e-books knowing that they are probably filth (and not the good kind) but I never thought it would suck this badly. Like, seriously, it sucked so much that I wanted to cry at some point, wanting to give up on it. I hated the characters, because they represent almost every negative qualities you can find in a human being. They’re vapid, empty, selfish, and one-dimensional. The circumstances/events/”conflicts” are so affected and forced.

I am still figuring out what is there to like in this series, but all I can think of is what I don’t like:


  • The writing, character development, storyline, conflicts, etc. — i would not dwell on that. Three words: BURN AFTER READING.
  • Christian’s staccato. COULD. YOU. BE. ANY. MORE. ANNOYING?
  • I swear, hearing Ana repeatedly utter Oh!, holy hell, holy crap, double crap, holy moses, holy cow, oh my! really almost broke my will to finish this series. I mean cmon! Every single time Christian seduces you/asks you to have rough stimulating sex with him, strips naked and his giant beef shawarma pops up, you say OH MY or HOLY COW???? You’re married to him for crying out loud! His fingers have been too at home inside your “hot pocket” and “behind/arse” and you still blush furiously when he “looks at you with his smoldering dark gaze?!”
  • Oh and aside from the Ana-words listed above, how many times do you think you could use these phrases/words in almost every chapter and still think it’s okay? This is not cool E.L.!

carnal desire
just-fucked hair
foil packets
"He’s so freaking hot wearing those pajama bottoms/jeans hanging low from his hips"
"You.are.so.beautiful.Ana."
"Give it to me Ana." then, a minute later…. "Oh Ana!" (nice one Mr. One-Minute Man)
"Will I ever get used to this?" (Oh puh-lease Anastasia! Yes okay??!!! I think you’re gonna get used to being rich, your future sons being heirs, you living with people to serve and guard you! And yes, your husband is so freaking hot, we know already!)
"I’m gonna fuck you. Hard." (poor HARD. always alone, separated from the other words… no need to emphasize that as we all know by now that Christian Grey is a “hard fucker with all the bonus kinky fuckery.” Sexy.)
"Oh my fifty. my fifty, fifty, fifty." O_O (stop it with the Fifty endearment. I already hate Christian, and suddenly visualizing 50 Cent doesn’t help.)

"Look mami I got what ya need, you need to feel the buzz.
I'm into havin' sex, I ain't into makin' love..."


  • "Are you rolling your eyes, Mrs. Grey?" (Yes Mr. Grey! Are you blind? Unless, Anastasia is suffering from seizures, then uhm yeah, she’s rolling her eyes at your utter lack of emotional maturity. Deal with it.)
  • And my all-time favorite: "DON’T BITE YOUR LIP." (O_O seriously Christian? I know, Ana biting her lip is supposed to be SUPERDUPER MEGA sexy and makes her irresistible. But why do you continually try to dissuade her from doing that? It can’t be because you don’t wanna lose control and ravage her on the spot, coz that’s what you always do, you controlling pervy bastard. -_-)
  • Anastasia’s idiotic musings.

Holy mother of god it's actually a real honest-to-goodness baby!!! Umm, duh, what did you expect - Gollum?

  • Christian’s tendency to over-“tell” and not “show” which makes me feel like he’s a freaking sports commentator. And oh yeah, Anastasia’s stupid expressions.




  • Anastasia’s inner goddess and subconscious. 

Ana and Christian could have sex anywhere in this world and in outer space, and still, the sex would be boring. Why? From Grey to Freed, E.L. used the same pattern over and over that by the time I got to Fifty Shades Darker & Freed I found myself skipping the sex parts because it’s just so damn irritating to read Mr. Foil Packet wham bham slam his chunky-chunky into Anastasia’s always-ready hot pocket for three minutes. This is basically how the scenes go (and this happens AT LEAST once every chapter):

Ana bites her lip/ Christian looks so hot and smoldering in his low-hanging pajama bottom or white shirt and linen pants.
Christian’s gaze darken/ Ana feels that familiar stirring deep in her belly… OH. That carnal desire!
Christian teases/nips/nibbles/grazes whatever/ Ana can’t wait for Christian to slam his sweet corn into her eager taco.
Ana feels his erection pushing against her hip/ Christian is amazed how “ready” Ana is for him
Christian grabs one of his unlimited supply of foil packets.
Christian eases into/slams into the amazon virgin forest and “choose desired pace”
wham bham slam smack hack whack crack wooohooooo hoooooo hooooo oh!
Christian urges Ana to “open her eyes” coz he “wants to see her” (wait, what??)... wham wham bham bham slam……. “come on Ana, give it to me….”
Ana finally decides to “give it to him” and feel that fireworks of feelings in her groin, and ooohhh that sweet final release!!!
Two seconds later, Christian gives in too and ALWAYS ALWAYS whispers/murmurs/mouths “OH, ANA”… O_O
Add in a pre/post-coital “YOU.ARE.SO.BEAUTIFUL.ANA.” aaaannnnd the routine is complete.


And E.L. seems to not wanna stop giving us treats, she decides to give some bonus materials! Woohoo! Who needs Midnight Sun (in your face SMeyer!) when we can have this!!?


Fifty and his love for balls!!

Aaaaand finally I’m done! I can’t wait for the movie!! LOL


MY RATINGS: 1/5 (this series has no literary merit or redeeming qualities, but it has made me laugh at some point, hence the "1")


You know a book REALLY sucks when the bookstore
selling it discourages you from buying it. lol.
 




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